Paranoia
Everything seems to happen to me, doesn't it? Not only do I have to have no actual lovelife, or have feet the size of Greenland (my feet are so big I bet that I given the chance to, I could walk on water with it), or have these stupidity lapses (as I like to call them.) But no, the world just isn't satisfied!!! They have to give me a life so crappy I'd rather watch tv all day. And so complicated that sometimes I wished my 'watch-tv-all-day' kind of life is possible.
I think a lot. And I mean A WHOLE LOT. Which makes me think that I have some kind of "Paranoid Personality Disorder." (See? I even try to diagnose my own personality disorders...Told you I'm weird) Some signs I looked up:
pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others (me)
suspects exploitation or deception of others (me)
jealous and envious (me again)
hypersensitive (reads hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events...me! I do this all the time! Like when someone tells me something, I always overanalyze the meaning and tend to wallow on it even days later...I hate it when I do that)
rigid (not really)
persistently bears grudges (i.e. unforgiving of insults, injuries, or slights...me again)
paranoid personality trait - person tends to be distrustful or suspicious in certain situations
And here's another disorder (I'm actually just typing this because we have a history of this...but hopefully I didn't inhert it...completely.):
Schizoid Personality Disorder
pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expressions of emotions (cool, aloof, doesn’t react..actually, sometimes I choose not to react on some things but generally I do)
neither desires nor enjoys close relationships (including being part of a family...not moi!..okay, sometimes I don't enjoy it, but what's there's there, right?)
almost always chooses solitary activities (that is most definitely referring to me)
has little interest in sexual encounters (ha! you have no idea. not me.)
takes pleasure in few, if any activities (another 'not-me'.)
appears indifferent to praise or criticism of others (not me)
shows emotional coldness and detachment (sometimes...just sometimes.)
schizoid personality trait - likes being alone, but has friends and engages in activities (aha! this is me)
Schizotypal Personality Disorder
demonstrates many symptoms related to those of schizophrenia but of a less severe nature
tends to be a loner; excessive social anxiety (me)
appearance is odd, eccentric, or peculiar (what do you think? of course I'm eccentric! I take pride in being different, in a weird, freakish sort-of way)
unusual pattern of talking that is vague and abstract (exactly what my friends tell me. said I was like a walking riddle.)
usually demonstrates “emotional poverty” (lack of emotions), but when emotions are shown, they often do not match content of a discussion and seem inappropriate for the circumstance (ex. laughs upon hearing serious information...haha...definitely me! see, I'm laughing now when I'm not supposed to)
preoccupied by thoughts of a magical nature (superstitious, belief in clairvoyance, telepathy, or “sixth sense”, bizarre fantasies...take a wild guess.)schizotypal personality trait - appears and acts a little eccentric but otherwise “normal” (i dunno...)
So here I am, discussing my own diagnosis of my personality disorders. No one's perfect, right? I am so paranoid.
I think a lot. And I mean A WHOLE LOT. Which makes me think that I have some kind of "Paranoid Personality Disorder." (See? I even try to diagnose my own personality disorders...Told you I'm weird) Some signs I looked up:
pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others (me)
suspects exploitation or deception of others (me)
jealous and envious (me again)
hypersensitive (reads hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events...me! I do this all the time! Like when someone tells me something, I always overanalyze the meaning and tend to wallow on it even days later...I hate it when I do that)
rigid (not really)
persistently bears grudges (i.e. unforgiving of insults, injuries, or slights...me again)
paranoid personality trait - person tends to be distrustful or suspicious in certain situations
And here's another disorder (I'm actually just typing this because we have a history of this...but hopefully I didn't inhert it...completely.):
Schizoid Personality Disorder
pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of expressions of emotions (cool, aloof, doesn’t react..actually, sometimes I choose not to react on some things but generally I do)
neither desires nor enjoys close relationships (including being part of a family...not moi!..okay, sometimes I don't enjoy it, but what's there's there, right?)
almost always chooses solitary activities (that is most definitely referring to me)
has little interest in sexual encounters (ha! you have no idea. not me.)
takes pleasure in few, if any activities (another 'not-me'.)
appears indifferent to praise or criticism of others (not me)
shows emotional coldness and detachment (sometimes...just sometimes.)
schizoid personality trait - likes being alone, but has friends and engages in activities (aha! this is me
Schizotypal Personality Disorder
demonstrates many symptoms related to those of schizophrenia but of a less severe nature
tends to be a loner; excessive social anxiety (me)
appearance is odd, eccentric, or peculiar (what do you think? of course I'm eccentric! I take pride in being different, in a weird, freakish sort-of way)
unusual pattern of talking that is vague and abstract (exactly what my friends tell me. said I was like a walking riddle.)
usually demonstrates “emotional poverty” (lack of emotions), but when emotions are shown, they often do not match content of a discussion and seem inappropriate for the circumstance (ex. laughs upon hearing serious information...haha...definitely me! see, I'm laughing now when I'm not supposed to)
preoccupied by thoughts of a magical nature (superstitious, belief in clairvoyance, telepathy, or “sixth sense”, bizarre fantasies...take a wild guess.)schizotypal personality trait - appears and acts a little eccentric but otherwise “normal” (i dunno...)
So here I am, discussing my own diagnosis of my personality disorders. No one's perfect, right? I am so paranoid.
