Boredom = Fun

ang ikli. asar. grrr.

kala mo lng mahaba kasi 4 nagsimula, pero actually nag program-program pa hanggang mga bandang 6. natapos ng 8. tapos ang pangit pa ng music. so 90's! too late to be fab, too early to be retro. blech.

aaah. another night wasted.

buti na lang martin kept me company. he always makes me laugh my heart out. and it's good that he did that night. kasi not only was i bored to death, i was heartbroken too. buti na lang napakalimot nia sakin. katatawa. buwahahahaha!!! mamatay ka na, LIKOD!!! AYOKO NA SAYO!!!!!!!!! >:O

boys. blech.

(si crush kasi ang epal eh. grr. ayoko na talaga sa kanya. likod=gwapo pag nakatalikod. pag nakaharap=not so much)

buti na lang nakapag-mcdo kami after. maybe i was just feeling crappy because i was hungry. maybe. tapos andun pa si kuya brian, sumabay samin. in fairness, tumangkad xa ng konti. konti lang. hehehe :)

so, anyways....back to real live life.

last updated a couple of eons ago. ah, crap. you know i'm so blah when i start writing in phrases. blech. i feel so...crappy.

***

reading bryanboy. man, am i friggin' jealous. bah.

***

got my exam results last week.

and guess what? I DID NOT FAIL A SINGLE THING. (with the obvious exception of p.e. i never passed a single p.e. exam in my four years in high school. not one. and i ain't starting now.)

surprised?

hell, i was.

i even passed physics. unexpected my ass. i was doing eenie-meenie-miney-moe about three-quarters of the time.

buwahahahaha. (this is supposed to be my evil laugh)

so..seriously. i was like, "HA! SUCKERZZZZZZZZ!!!!!" and high-fived leann (who also passed, along with about six others in a class of 36) when i heard the news. teehee. SUCKERZZZZZZZ!!!

but i guess i really do have loads of common sense. imagine getting 22 out of 30 multiple choice items when my seatmate, self-appointed-god's-gift-to-the-world's-morons, only got 10. ::laughs evilly:: if i, The Most Idiotic Self-Appointed Genius can get it right, who can't? everybody else, i guess.

***

and then there's the celestial party, RC's answer to Halloween's so-called Pagan origin.

and let me tell you, it was crap. especially considering that it was to be our last-ever celestial party. bah. the music was so 90's (duh, it's too early for it to be retro) and it was so freaking short! two hours, at the most. how was i supposed to complete my sit-and-stare-at-the-gym-ceiling mantra in such a short time? clearly they haven't been informed of the said mantra's importance to moi.

nah, just kidding. i was too wasted to dance after the first hour (there wasn't any booze there, though. and besides, i don't even drink.) so i sat through the rest.

got to slow dance too. just one though. with martin. teehee. we danced straight through two songs. the first ones, actually, so it was the first dance for the two of us. teehee.

bah. i wish i had a boyfriend.

just something i sent to a very stupid person.

***

wala lang...i'm just feeling particularly bitchy today kaya i just wanted to apologize again. but your english truly is abysmal. i just want to make it clear. let me proofread your message for you. here's the original:

hey mister,,, if you dont mind.. please stop "posting
a lot of bulletins"!! your deleting some important
bulletins you know that?! so...if your mad dont
share your angriness on us! i'm sorry... but your
just getting in my nerve....

when it CLEARLY should be:

hey miss...(ellipses (and in case you didn't know, 'ellipses' is the plural of 'ellipsis') are okay, but three commas are so passé. actually, you should use justa single comma, but whatever.)

please stop posting a lot of bulletins. (in my world we call posting a lot of bulletins 'flooding'. we also don't use quotation marks for it. it's not like i don't know what the freaking thing means. we only use quotation marks, whether single or double, when referring to a word used not for its meaning but for it as a word. and we also don't use 'if you don't mind' just to impress and let people know that we know that we actually know the phrase. especially if it totally doesn't fit in the sentence.)

you're deleting some important bulletins, you know that? (you+are=you're. duh. let's try contracting, shall we? and besides, what do you need the last 320 bulletins for? its not like you read them all)

so if you're mad, (again with the wrong contractions)

don't share your (dito ung 'your')

anger (there's no such word as 'angriness'. trust me. plus, if there was, it still wouldn't be gramatically correct)

with (not 'on')

us!

i'm sorry, (at least you got this contraction right...kudos to you)

but you're (contraction!)

just getting on my nerves...(not 'in'. duh. and is it even possible to get on just one nerve? i mean, they're microscopic. you can't hit just one.)

so here's the finished product:

hey miss...please stop posting a lot of bulletins. you're deleting some important bulletins, you know that? so if you're mad, don't share your anger with us! i'm sorry, but you're just getting on my nerves...

no need to thank me for the quick grammar lesson. never bothering me again is thanks enough.

***

i am so nasty.

may bago na kong org. huwahahaha.

lakas na nmn ng tama...like, über-topak na naman T_T. hehehe.

naasar na talaga ko sa kanya. gusto ko n xang itulak mula sa bintana ng room ng st. paul kanina.

IF YOU WANT SOMEONE TO TAKE YOUR ORDERS, GET YOURSELF A FREAKING MAID. I AM YOUR FRIEND, NOT YOUR FREAKING HOUSEHELP. KAPEESH?

i mean, i surmise that that is easy enough to understand. ndi naman ganun kalaim ang message eh. in fact, i think it's a bit tongue-in-cheek. but whatever. at least you'll get my message easier.

kasi simple lang eh. hindi naman lahat ng kailangan mong igalaw ay dapat mong iutos sakin. if you want someone who'll be at your beck and call every single freaking minute of the scorching-hot day, buy yourself a new posse. i am not here to take your orders. i am not here to hold your bag, your notebook, or your hand-outs. i am not here to buy food for you, especially with my own money. i am not here for you to borrow money from. i am not here to watch you as you sleep, and breathe for you when it becomes too tiring.

GETS MO?

i hope you do. if you don't, sabihin mo lang sakin. itatatoo ko sa noo mo.

Or, Rants and Raves of A Disappointed Teen on Her Second and Last High School Field Trip
(whoa, that was looooong)

After about a month of eager (and I do mean EAGER) anticipation, us seniors finally had the chance to leave the tall walls of RC, away from the clutches of teachers, priests and prefects (though not completely).

If my memory serves me right, we started counting down 28 days before ‘The Day’. The infamous Ria wrote on the chalkboard, “28 DAYS TILL E.K.!!!” We were all so excited, the usually calm and level-headed Sir Batuto even nearly shouted when he couldn’t get a word in edgewise. And if the long wait wasn’t enough, there was also the fight of which section was to be separated in the bus—Jude, Matthew or Peter. We totally wanted to be together because the bus part was half the fun. But in the end, all of the sections were divided according to place. It was an upland-lowland division, with the people from Mendez and Alfonso riding in the (one and only) van.

We arrived at the IRRI (International Rice Research Institute) early. It was scorching hot in the area even though it was only about 8.30 in the morning, and it didn’t help that we were donning our P.E. uniform, jogging pants and all. US girls were still required to tie up our hair, much to my chagrin. I had always thought that Sir Loyola would let me off the hook, even just for that one day. But I digress.

We were all neatly ushered to the IRRI Auditorium (I suppose that’s what they call it) the moment we got there. We were shown a film on...you’ve guessed it...rice. It showed interesting information that practically no one knew about. There was a weak attempt on showing off a bit of ‘coolness’’ after it (guys trying to court a girl or something), but it failed quite miserably, with the ‘hip’ film they were supposed to be showing stopping and going much like a pirated disc. They stopped it before it could get any worse, thank goodness.

We were led to the museum proper after the film showing. Truthfully, we didn’t get to look at the artifacts very much (at least I didn’t) because we were too busy taking pictures. The photo op was too good to waste.

After the (extremely noisy) IRRI trip, we went straight to Enchanted Kingdom. I think we were supposed to go to two other places, but I guess the teachers were eager to go to E.K. too. Teehee.

It was hot as ever when we arrived at E.K. Mateo immediately went inside (after waiting for quite a while in a tent, that is, as did the others) and posed for pictures in Victoria Park (or whatever the place with the carousel is called...I never could remember the name).

Then...the rides. First we went to dodgem (or bumper cars as normal people would call it), then to roller skater (it was an unusually short ride), then to anchors away (I nearly died)...well, there are too many to tell, but judging by the goofy smiles on our faces on the gazillion pictures we took, you could tell we totally had fun.

The place was amazing, hot as it was. The themed places were cute, especially old Brooklyn. It was like being taken back to old New York Broadway-style, dancers and all. There was even a soda fountain right at the middle of it, completing the whole feel.

The day was almost perfect, especially for us who have been itching to get as far away from the teachers as possible. One thing though—the trip was disappointingly short, with us leaving at exactly four in the afternoon. I mean, the real fun hadn’t even started! The fireworks display was supposed to be the icing on the cake, the cherry on top of the ice cream, the ‘something additional that makes something good even better’...but, as expected, the fun was cut short. I think the teachers should have given us a little extra time. After all, we are seniors, and it’s not like our parents are going to pace for hours if we got home at, like, 8 or something. And it was to be our second and last field trip (in high school that is). It’s not like they let us out of the school too often. We have to run loose every once in a while too. I mean, we aren’t even allowed to go to fast food chains or kikiamans on Friday afternoons. I’m not mad or anything. I’m just saying. LISTEN TO REASON, PEOPLE!!! (Just kidding)

Overall, the trip wasn’t a complete bust. We got to have fun, bond, and take about a gazillion photos. Who could ask for more?

i am so........@#$%^&**@#.

sometimes i hate myself for being so easily attached.

i've known carlo for exactly a week and i already cannot stop thinking about him.

tell me, am i crazy?

maybe i am.

...

grrrr.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is starry and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines. I loved him, and sometimes he loved me too.

Through nights like this one he held me in his arms. He kissed me again and again under the endless sky.

He loved me, sometimes I loved him too. How could one not have loved his great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines. To think that I do not have him. To feel that I have lost him.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without him. And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep him. The night is starry and he is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance. My soul is not satisfied that it has lost him.

My sight tries to find him as though to bring him closer. My heart looks for him, and he is not with
me.

The same night whitening the same trees. We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love him, that's certain, but how I loved him. My voice tried to find the wind to touch his hearing.

Another's. He will be another's. As he was before my kisses. His voice, his bright body. His infinite eyes.

I no longer love him, that's certain, but maybe I love him. Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one he held me in his arms my soul is not satisfied that it has lost him.

Though this be the last pain that he makes me suffer and these the last verses that I write for him.

***

(obviously this was written by a guy so i changed all the nouns)

nagulat ako. as in.

sinabi un sakin ni ira papasok pa lang ng canteen. nasa pila na nakanganga pa rin ako.

sabi nga ira, "o, kim, wag ka maxadong ma-shock!"

pero ano bang magagawa ko? EH SA NA-SHOCK AKO EH.

hai.

i am still in a state of utter disbelief.

pero anyways.

tuloy ang buhay.

tuloy ang pagkasawi.

tuloy ang kabiguan.

tuloy ang heartbreaks, frustrations, failures at successes.

mabubuhay ako.

pero minsan nag-ddoubt pa rin ako.

alam ko, stage lang to.

lahat nagdadaan sa ganto.

lahat naghihirap.

lahat nasasaktan.

lahat babangon.

lahat may pag-asa.

at salamat na lang, natuto ako sa mga taong nakapaligid sakin.

hindi ako gumawa ng kabalbalan tulad nila.

hindi ako nagsisi sa huli.

hindi ako nagkasala.

buti naman.

ngayon talagang alam ko na ang magnitude ng lahat ng yon.

hindi na ko mangangahas.

i mean, i wasn't planning on doing it in the first place naman, pero i've given it some thought.

and now my decision's final.

talagang hindi.

hindi hindi hindi.

so...wala lang. this weekend has been a blast.

i have to go back to reality now.

but honestly, i'd rather not go back. at least, not right now. maybe later.

***

i still cannot get over how sweet he is. i mean, we've only known each other for two days. two unusually long days! what if we've known each other for a year? what would happen then?

he's the person i hit off with the fastest. an hour after we met, we were already chatting like we've known each other our whole lives.

and his smile? boyish. so adorable!

gawd, i cannot wait till tomorrow. teehee.

okay, so i was stupid.

but it was still fun.

man, my eyes hurt.

last night was one of the best nights ever. it wasn't picture-perfect...but to me, it was practically heaven.

plus, i met someone new.

okay, he's not exactly new. i knew him by name for three years. and he, like........

wait...