Boredom = Fun

[	mood	|	artistic	]
[	music	|	If I Am - Nine Days	]

You are an Atheist

When it comes to religion, you're a non-believer (simple as that). You prefer to think about what's known and proven. You don't need religion to solve life's problems. Instead, you tend to work things out with logic and philosophy.

i always thought i was agnostic. because, you know...all the evidence we have don't prove anything. at least, not to me. but i still haven't turned down the idea that there *is* no god.

i've always thought that god was created by people because of the lack of something to believe in. like, just to have hope that there's someone out there who cac solve all thier problems. they need that to go on on their darkest of times, right? something to believe in...something to have faith in...something to hold on to when all seems so slippery.

i can already hear my religion teacher telling me off. actually she's partly the reason why i don't really believe in god (i mean, i don't blieve, but i also don't *not* believe. get it?) she shows me how narrow-minded christians can get--especially with The Da Vinci Code incident. I MEAN, SHE PRACTICALLY HURLED THE BLOODY BOOK TO THE FLOOR. doesn't that tell us something? because whoever said we actually believed it? i mean, she said it herself: IT'S BLOODY FICTION. so what's she ranting on about?

and whoever said i believed in the whole christianity thing? i mean, when it all comes down to it, christianity's just like paganism, hinduism, buddhism and all those other -isms. it's just that there are more of them in the philippines. so why can't they respect what other people believe in? i mean, they've always said it's a free world, right? and just because they think they're right, they aren't necessarily. because as far as i know, some of them aren't.

plus, christianity is so sexist. i'm just saying.

philosophy provides me more plausible answers to all those stuff that bug me--like, what does 'meaning' mean, and who decides what has it? what's the gauge of intellectuality, and who sets it? at some point, could something have come from nothing? i could go on forever---but i've got to die sometime, so i'll stop at there.

i'm not saying anyone will agree with me, but this is just how i feel. please don't bash me or tell me i'm going to hell. because as far as i know, tartarus is much cooler. and if ever i go to heaven and have to stay with my religion teacher there, i'd say, "no, i'd much prefer to be a ghost, thank you very much, and observe living people for all eternity."

***

"Though I cannot fly, I'm not content to crawl."

You Are 85% Addicted to Blogthings

You're always discovering new Blogthings, even before they're announced. That's what we like to call a "quick draw." Forget taking Blogthings, you should be working for Blogthings! You're a Blogthings expert.

i tend to do that ^^

Your Rising Sign is Taurus

You are the ultimate rock - stable and centered. People turn to you in crisis and count on you for calm. Stubborn and strong minded, you can't be pushed around. You are also tenacious, and you always will stick with something difficult. A bit fan of nature, you're attracted to the beauty of the outdoors. And sometimes, you find it easier to relate to animals than people.

no, no, no, NO!!! (taurus? me??? not a good joke!) okay, most of it's true. except the animal part. i'm afraid of my own dog, for heaven's sake.

***horoscope!***

Virgo

The Bottom Line

A work issue or two could come up. Some issues are problems, but some help you out.

In Detail

You'll probably be up late tonight, pounding away at the computer, poring over bills and columns of numbers at the dining room table, or puttering around the house, straightening up and tending to your most prized possessions. No matter what it is, you can count on getting so involved in what you're doing that you forget about any plans you'd made. If you need to cancel, better do it early. It's okay. People know how you get.

Today's Forecast

You're so efficient that you rarely sit still, and when you do, it's never without a book or a pen in hand. You'll be doubly busy now, taking charge of your business and someone else's, too. Don't forget to sleep.

it's as if you guys know me, because that is so true. i even write during p.e.

***

but anyways, we have UP ANGKAN review today. for, like, the whole day! i'd like--okay LOVE it, actually, if it weren't for the fact that i have three to four articles due on monday (and i so want to do four), my ateneo admission essay (or whatever you call it), my social studies editorial (which i immediately have to give to paul because he has ask his sister to draw a cartoon for it and all, and i think it's due this wednesday).

okay, maybe i shouldn't complain. i practically write every single minute at school, and when i get home the writing turns to typing. that shouldn't be *too* bad.

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

***

i'm an official forum (our school newspaper) member! YAY! (i mentioned this earlier, i know. but i failed to elaborate. and i'm like, the queen of elaboration.)

now i'm wondering about what i should write about. i have, like, three articles due on monday. two to three editorials and one literary piece. i write stuff almost every day, but this is different. i mean, i actually have to write about something more than paul, glenn, and harry potter (my favorite topics). i'v got to have something serious for a change. ack. ALL ARTICLES ARE DUE ON MONDAY!!!! I'M DOOMED!!!

but i think i've got at least a bagful of ideas. that should get me through it. i hope. ::gulp::

***

i think i hear something bleeping in the song. i'm litening to it now, and there it is, right in the background.

could there be a hidden morse-coded message in 'my immortal'? (conspiracy-theorist-kim kicks in. see ya later, boy-craziness, i have my conspiracy theories to cater to!)

AAAAHHH!!! OMGOMGOMG!!! THEY CHANGED OUR DANCE PARTNERS IN FILIPINO, AND GUESS WHO I GOT???

PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol. ^^

.................

too sleepy to function............

on a happier note, i passed the screening! now i'm a columnist at the school paper (unlike a certain freak bitch i know)!!! lol ^_^

and for future reference:
Train---ordinary lyrics

Artist - Spiderman 2 Soundtrack

Album - Spiderman 2

Lyrics - Train---ordinary


Whose eyes am I behind
I don't recognize anything that I see
Whose skin is this design
I don't want this to be the way that you see me

I don't understand anything anymore
In this web that I've tied up
Is taking me right up these walls
That I climb up
To get to your story
It's anything but ordinary

And when the world is on its knees with me its fine
And when I come to the rescue I get nothing but left behind
Everybody seems to be getting what they need, where's mine
‘Cause you're what I need so very but im anything but ordinary

Can you save me from this world of mine
Before I get myself arrested with this expectation
You are the one look what you've done
What have you done?
This is not some kind of joke
You're just a kid
You weren't ready for what you did

And when the world is on its knees with me its fine
And when I come to the rescue I do it for you time after time
Everybody seems to be getting what they need, where's mine
‘Cause you're what I need so very but im anything but ordinary

I think im trying to save the world for you
You've been saving me too
We could just stay in and save each other

Im anything but ordinary
(ordinary)
Im anything but ordinary
(ordinary)

i know.

freak bitch replied:

I really know that you are smart but now you've just
confirmed the fact that you are such a nice friend to
me you even made me a message that everyone
can read. I'm not that good and I don't have a high IQ
cause I don't need it to have a one true friend, I will
consider you as my friend because I like you your
smart but you also consider that you are not GOD for
we are all beings that do commit mistake.

I like to blabber because this is the only way that I
can express my self do you know why I followed you
and Rutchel in the clinic that's because I want to
share my mishaps as a researcher and all problems
that I have and you just said "BAKIT KA
SUMUSUNOD" well I thought you just uttered those
words as a joke so I just walk-out then hugged my
knees alone, then morrow comes I still have the
problem in my chest I think you are in the CR when I
went in the table where you put your things you did sit
with me but you frown that is the only time that I know
that you are angry to me then my feelings just burst
when Annabelle laugh at my story then Louella and
Ria made pranks to me, like what you said a shit but
thank you anyway because you are one of the trials
in my life that I have deal with thank you!


About your Sims it is not with me its with your long
time known classmaTE CHRISTIAN but because i'm
just a big pile of shit you didn't believe me


I maybe the weirdest thing that happened to earth but
I think I am part of your world and that world is not
yours alone for the world needs a speck that would
that is of beneficiary and disturbance for I'm the
wandering speck.

Nakasama rin naman kita no pero di ko akalin na sa
ganoong ka simpleng dahilan ka lang magagalit.

i told you his pragraphs needed periods. it's such a tire reading them, i didn't even bother.

and here's my conveo with pat, the one who truly gets what i mean:

pat: hi!
britz1117 : hello
britz1117 : glenn(infinity)!!! :x
britz1117 : hehe
pat: sus!
pat: parang yng avvy ko ah... puro love nasa isip mo... or infatuation lang?
britz1117 : ewan...parang mejo four years in the making na tong crush na to eh
britz1117 : ngaun ko lng tlga npancn...
britz1117 : hehe
britz1117 : eh u? yang dan mo?
pat: wala lang...
britz1117 : i am so so so sooo mad
britz1117 : X-(
pat: yun nga, tinititigan pa rin niya yung piccy ng crush niya na medyo malabo na siyang sagutin dahil may guy na...
britz1117 : he wants war? i'll give him HELL
britz1117 : ::laughs evilly::
pat: bakit naman?
britz1117 : the bloody prick
pat: who?
britz1117 : that gay freak i was talking about in a previous post
pat: glenn?
pat: paul?
pat: sino nga?
pat: si ispucian pa rin ba? tagal nang issue nyan ha?
britz1117 : i don't hate gay guys. in fact i practically love them
britz1117 : ah. c diego, ang pambansang bading
britz1117 : (as we call him)
pat: okay...
pat: i have a thing against gay guys...
pat: but meron namang mga nakakatuwa na gay guys...
britz1117 : how dare he threaten me...bahala xa...project lang yun. kakausapin ko ung iba naming ka-group. tignan lang natin kung kanino cla kakampi
britz1117 : huwahaha (going crazy now)
pat: okay... good luck sa project...
pat: mas nakakainis kaya yung classmate ko..
britz1117 : gay guys are generally nice naman, dba? weirdo lng tlga tong isang to
britz1117 : (ang kapal ng mukha!!! X-()
britz1117 : bkit nmn inis ka dun sa classmate mo?
pat: if you know the term weird, crazy naman yung isang ka-batch ko...
pat: he's not nice, not pleasant, not smart, not everything...
britz1117 : ooohhh. perfect fit!
britz1117 : bagay cla ni diego, (supposedly) god's gift to thrid-world idiots
pat: walang natutuwa sa kanya, teachers man or students...
pat: ewan ko lang kung paano siya nakakapasa...
britz1117 : hehe. eternal question nga naman
pat: i agree...
pat: i ABSOLUTELY agree...
pat: sino ba leader? ikaw? tanggalin mo na lang...
britz1117 : ewan ba
britz1117 : wala naman eh
britz1117 : saka the nerve no
britz1117 : galit na nga sa kanya lahat eh
britz1117 : xa pang may lakas ng loob na manakot
britz1117 : tignan na lang natin
britz1117 : ::laughs evilly (again)::
britz1117 : hehe
pat: question pa ba na kung papayag yung groupmates mo?
pat: na tanggalin siya?
britz1117 : ewan...as far as i know, practically the whole class hates him eh
pat: it seems like the most obvious thing in the world...
britz1117 : even ronald, the only guy who even dares talk to him, practically hates him
pat: who needs him anyway...
britz1117 : even the less-hated of the class hates him
britz1117 : dun kami nagkakaisa. in hating him.
britz1117 : astiiig
britz1117 : ^^tama ka!
pat: dapat tanggalin na siya sa section niyo...
britz1117 : (i'm blabbering again arrgghh!)
britz1117 : tama ka
britz1117 : hehe
pat: kung kausap ko yung gay guy na yan... mas marami pang blabs yun, wala nga lang sense...
britz1117 : omg, i know exactly what you mean
britz1117 : seriously
britz1117 : he usually uses big words pa nga, para 'impressive'
britz1117 : but i'd bet my life he doesn't know what the freaking words mean
pat: tanong mo lang meaning nung words na yun sa kanya... di niya ma-explain...
pat: god... parehas pa tayo ng tinype...
pat: Giggles: Hee Hee
britz1117 : i've proven it na nga eh! ung sa application sa forum (school paper namin), i read in his application ung word na 'burgeoning' and the like. lam mo na. the stuff you say just to impress, parang to say, "i know more big words than you"
britz1117 : tapos nawala ko ung application form niya
britz1117 : (accident un)
britz1117 : so he had to fill it up again
pat: iba na yung laman no?
britz1117 : i offered to fill up again for him, kasi it was my fault. but to my utter surprise (not), he was dictating to me the exact words that *i* wrote in my application
britz1117 : how smart of him
britz1117 : (or her)
pat: the nerve...
britz1117 : tcha! exactle what i thought!
britz1117 : exactly pala
britz1117 : hehe

as you can see, i was the one mostly talking. but that's what i do when i'm mad. i blabber. sorry if i blabbed too much, pat!

no offense, but the chruch is so sexist. seriously.

i know. that is so, so true.

sometimes i use my 'writing powers' for teh ebil. i'm not afraid to admit it. when i want to hurt someone, can and most definitely will.

but i'm just angst-ridden. it's my anger that makes me want to go on.

i'm bad. just so bad.

but i wouldn't want to repress it all, would i? i don't want to go crazy.

i dunno if this is just the teenage hormones kicking in, but i'm certainly more boy-crazy than ever.

it's glenn. i mean, i'm practically in love with the guy! it's weird, actually, me getting a crush on him just now, when we were already being teased to each other since freshman year. (i'm taking that as a good sign!) the teasing subsided during sophomore and junior year, but now it's back. full-blast. which is quite cool, you know, with me finally liking him and all.

it started last thursday, actually. i was assigned to the last computer, comp. #37, the one assigned to me (#12) being such a wreck. mariel (occupier of #36) and i talked the whole period. our convo mainly consisted of--you guessed it--guys. we talked about the stuff we like about guys (and stuff like that). then, somehow, the conversation steered to glenn. she told me she used to have a crush on him (quite understandable!) during sophomore year (they were classmates, both of them are from st. stephen). they were partners in florante at laura (i don't know what parts they had though. i wasn't listening when they were presenting). and then mariel told me how nice he was to hug. (kim jealous! kim jealous!!!) she said he was a bit squishy and warm! (!!!) i swear, i would love to feel that. him hugging me, i mean.

and i think i should mention these--stuff i've been i've been noticing some time now. i'm just not sure about it because i haven't got 20/20 vision. but otherwise it might be true.

->this one has nothing to do with my vision, but i remember that day when glenn was being teased to erika, someone said that he already had a crush on someone else in our class (i can only guess who that lucky girl is)
->during computer again. more than once i caught him staring at me. i think. or maybe he was just staring at the windows (fully draped with curtains, btw). you can never tell.
->during lunch last firday. ira and i were standing beside the cashier when we heard jerwin shout at someone, "o wag maaxadong tumitig baka maubos!" i immediately started looking for the person jerwin was talking to. i dunno if i was just hallucinating, but i think glenn was staring at my direction. he was still staring as if he hadn't heard jerwin, but a few moments after, he started shaking his head and looking away. like waking himself up from his daydream or something.
->after lunch last friday, right before p.a., when we were still outside our classroom. i was standing beside the (formerly closed) window (nag-sesenti). i didn't even flinch when i felt it open behind me. then virgilio shouted at someone behind me (apparently the same one who opened the window), "uuyy, si glenn! chinachancingan si kim!!!" and then glenn immediately started running after him.(guilty?)
->again, this has nothing to with vision. i remember asking for glenn's number from lilet, my friend, his ka-service and someone known to have a crush on him. the day after i sent her an sms asking for it, she started teasing me to him.
->and i don't know about this...but sometimes during basic research (he sits beside me in that class), he...um...i dunno...sort-of leans toward me when he sits so that our shoulders sort-of touch...then he starts playing with my eraser and flips through my notebook and stuff like that. i know this is weird, but i find that cute. really cute.

and for the past few days i've been imagining us slow-dancing. i love slow-dancing. i just wish i could do it with him when we have our celestial party on october 31 (that's our halloween party substitute). i want to dance with him in a dark gym with romantic music and with our classmates teasing us. or going to a romantic dinner in any of the restos in tagaytay with a great view, and just talking afterwards. or going to picnic grove and staring at the view from the top together, him with his arms around me and my hand wrapped in his. i mean, how sweet would that be? i would love to do that sometime. preferrably within the next month. lol ^_^

***

"Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide."

(Back story: I had a fight with someone who actually thought I was his friend. Seriously. How fucking naïve. Why does he think I lose my temper with him 5 seconds into the conversation and never lose my temper with my other frieds? And he seriously thinks he's so smart. I cannot possibly hate anyone else more. This is a letter to 'Allegedly Bloody Brilliant But Apparently NOT Gay (Or At Least, According To Him) Guy/Girl/Freak/Whatever')

Dude, I don’t give a sh*t about your friggin’ cousin. I’m pretty sure you’re gonna read this, so I’m gonna fire away.

TTYTT, I’ve always hated you. I just held my temper back then. But now I’m not taking any of your sh*t about us being “close”. Because we weren’t, we aren’t, and we never will be!

And why do I hate you, you ask? It's quite simple, really. I hate people who think their damn brilliant. Like, I'm-too-smart-for-this-world-so-you-should-all-worship-me brilliant. You seem to think you're God's gift to third-world countries. But, as everyone can attest, you're not. In fact, you're so far from being.

If you're so brilliant, then why'd you have to 'adapt' my ideas? Oh no, 'adapt' is putting it too lightly. 'Copying' is more appropriate, especially when someone uses the same answers you have on your application forms (::cough:: school newspaper application ::cough::). Am I right, or am I right?

And you're such a hypocrite. I remember the other day, in Filipino class, you said that having backers isn't right, because you should go to someone directly. (Or something like that.) If you feel *so* strongly about that, then why do you have a backer at UP? Do you not think you can pass, considering you're "multi-talented"? (Your word, not mine.)

Let's face it. Practically everyone hates you. Except (possibly) your mother. (Or maybe she does, too.) During Physics yesterday, you just kept on blabbering and blabbering and blabbering and blabbering and blabbering and blabbering and blabbering and blabbering and blabbering and blabbering and blabbering and blabbering and blabbering. It was quite annoying, actually. Even Jake cracked from it all. And he's one of the most controlled guys I know. I mean, you even pick fights with the only person in the classroom who dares talk to you. Isn't that horrible?

And, what, do you not know that I know that I'm the one you're always talking about? The one who's 'only your friend when she's right'. Duh. I mean, do you think I'm stupid? Face it, my IQ's easily 20 points higher than yours. Ckeck with the Guidance Office. They have the info to back that one up. Or look at the back cover of my Fil notebook. I put the results there.

But I'm not saying that I'm right all the time. I'm just saing that you don't have to explain every single friggin' detail to me, like you're God's gift to idiots. Hello? Do I look dumb? I may not be dead right all the time, but at least I know what I don't know.

What I hate the most are the stuff you say about me behind my back. So you're telling us you're not gay. But tell me, would a straight guy even do that? Wouldn't a straight guy just pin me to the wall and give me death threats? Why can't you tell it to my face, if you hate me so much? You be the judge.

And about that piece of crap you said about there being ‘no real friends in Silang’ . That doesn’t even make sense. Because if that were true, then you wouldn’t be a *real* friend, either. Don’t say anything you can never prove. Just a tip from a 'friend'.

P.S. Use some periods, please! God knows your paragraphs need it. (It's such a bore reading paragraph-long sentences that are deprived of their right to periods. Don't you think so?)

again, i'm supposed to be studying. but i have a lot to tell!

saturday:

went to school. we had club meetings. i tried out for and editorial post in the forum, our school newspaper. it went as well as expected, and i nearly didn't finish the editorial i was making. which was expected. then we had CAT (Citizen's Advancement Training) after that. i was one of the 'records' people, which meant i got to sign all those index cards! how fun! (not.) after that i met up with katrina and we went to buy h-bp together.

sunday:

read h-bp and made my research paper's first chappie. willed myself not to finish h-bp so fast, as i have saved my money on it for so long.

monday:

nothing significant. may have talked to paul though. can't really remember. edit:just remembered--we had student body elections that day.

tuesday:

same as monday.

wednesday:

this is when the *real* stuff happen. i woke up early because i still wasn't done with my the script for my monologue. but when i actually *finished* the darn thing and was about to print it, word went wacko and had an error. i tried printing several times after that but nothing happned. by 7.00 i was already having difficulty breathing (which happens when i'm tense). i went to my boiling point (which here means that i started cursing inanimate objects, that inanimate object being the printer) so i decided to give up and go to school. but i still wasn't breathing properly.

i rode the first mode of transpo i could flag down--- a bus. to be more specific, a FULL bus. so, with my backpack, my huge folder, my books, and my still-not-breathing-properly self, i was forced to stand more than three quarters of the way to school. which didn't help my breathing a bit. by the time i arrived at school, i was practically wheezing. but it turns out i wasn't late--yet. all that running (and fast-walking) for nothing! anyway, we had a long assembly (note: i still wasn't breathing properly). i was already feeling my hand go numb halfway through the morning prayer (we were standing, btw). i also noticed that whatever i did, it would always roll into a fist. i was relieved when (i thought) the assembly was over, because my head was already spinning. but it turned out it still wasn't! i was so mad that i my breathing was as crazy as ever. but when i heard what the hold up was about, the numbness in my hands intensified even more. they were going to annnounce who won the elections! omg! then i felt the numbness sear through my stomach. seriously. even my stomach was numb. that was funny.

so they announced it--most of the p.e.p.s.i. (predominant eloquent people serving your interests--that's p.e.p.s.y.i. to me, but whatever) people won. except for one of their junior councilors. franco, the independent candidate, won over him/her/whoever. then the numbness was in my legs.

the time to announce the president came. the numbness reached my feet--and i was thinking, "okay, hold on just a bit longer! they're going to announce the highest position! don't dare pass out when you've already come this far!!!" i was only talking myself into it. then the biggest surprise came--CYRUS WON!!! OMGOMGOMG!!!!!!! i even got to cheer for him, in the condition i was in. i would've cried (my eyes were already watery, actually), had the numbness not taken over my whole body.

moments after they announced that cyrus won, my whole body started shaking--literally. my hands were clasped into fists, my stomach was numb, and my feet were unnaturally straight. (it was like i was petrificus totalused, actually.) good thing my nosy classmate noticed and reacted immediately (her nosiness was put to good use this time), practically screaming that i was about to pass out. but i wasn't. i was fully aware of the stuff happening around me. it was just that i couldn't move a muscle and had they not crowded over me, i would've fell on the gym floor. i was took backward steps quite automatically, as it was the only move i was capable of doing. body shaking, fists tightly clasped, and feet unmoving, i felt someone lifting me. i heard a lot of voices...people panicking.

"si kim! si kim!" <-usiserang classmate
"ako na magbubuhat!" <-our cute class president. one of the guys i have a crush on

or in english,

"ohmygod! kim's passing out!" <-nosy classmate
"i'll carry her!" <-same desc. as above

(if it were a movie or a tv show, i would've laughed myself to death. honestly.)

there were a lot of ther voices, but there were so many i couldn't possibly remember them all. i just remember someone lifting me, then passing me to a bigger guy (Kevin. I swear, I am eternally grateful!) I only opened my eyes when we were already near the clinic, and that was to thank Kevin. again and again. because if it weren't for him and jake and lingi [pronounced lin-ji], i would've still been in the gym, shaking and not breathing properly. so, guys, thank you! and if i forgot to mention someone, please forgive me, because my eyes were shut then, me being so scared and all.

so i was bought to the clinic. i didn't stop thanking Kevin. i was pale, he was flushed. he said he panicked. that was so sweet! you know, him caring enough to panic. cute :)

i've been wanting to pass out ever since i learned that i could. seiously. i got my wish! lol. ^_^

and later that day, during social studies, our teacher informed us about our project this quarter--an editorial and a cartoon to accompany it. i feigned interest on the little things about the project so that no one would bother pairing up with me. i was seriously thinking (or hoping, more like) that paul would want to partner with me. or any one of the three guys i have a crush on. but eventually i got teamed up with froi, one of the people i was majorly avoiding. i'm not saying that i don't think he'll do anything, but i want someone more intellectual., so that there'll be room for serious discussions. (i have a thing for smart guys. they're cute.)

i was totally shocked when a familiar voice called me. i recognized it--i've been waiting for that very same voice to say my name the whole period. it was PAUL!!! and he wanted to partner with me! MOI! OMG!!! he said, "um...kim...may partner ka na ba (do you have a partner yet)?"

and I, being the deaf person that i am, said: "ha? ha? pakiulit! bingi ako eh!" ("pardon? sorry, i didn't catch that! can you say it again?" or something like that)

so he repeated it. i was all, "okay, okay!" in this very enthusiastic way, and i answered even before he even finished the sentence he was repeating for me. it was taking all my self-control not to scream fangirlishly right then and there, actually. but the moment he returned to his seat (more appropriately, his 'world'), i started tugging ira's sleeve, giggled and almost screamed. again. so i settled myself with raven simone's ever-so-famous small screams. (now i know that if you want something bad enough, you'd eventually come to get it.)

i didn't seriously think it's happen and would actually settle with anyone left, seeing as i know i'd end up doing the darn thing myself anyway. but OMG!!!

thursday:
bonding with paul during and after p.e.. we discussed hp theories and stuff, the kind of convos we usually have. omg, maybe he really is me scott bennett! how cute! <3 :)


so...i'll tell more tomorrow. still have to watch friends!

"Why Can't I?"

Get a load of me, get a load of you
Walkin' down the street, and I hardly know you
It's just like we were meant to be

Holding hands with you when we're out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn't right
And I've got someone waiting too

What if this is just the beginning
We're already wet, and we're gonna go swimming

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too

It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn't it be beautiful

Here we go, we're at the beginning
We haven't fucked yet, but my heads spinning

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

High enough for you to make me wonder
Where it's goin'
High enough for you to pull me under
Somethin's growin'
out of this that we can control
Baby I am dyin'

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you

i been wanting to find these lyrics for so long! (i forgot about it *completely*, though)

i want to go to school. no, seriously. i do.

I ACCIDENTALLY READ A SPOILER! OMG! I KNOW WHO DIES!!!

AAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my jaw actually dropped when i read it, in big bold capital letters: _______ KILLS _____. (random no. of spaces, btw) OMG. OMG!!! but it makes sense, seeing as *second blank* was trying to kill Harry. but still! OMFG!!!

i'm taking a break from h-bp. my eyes hurt already ::squints::! anyways, i've been checking hp lj communities and most of them are on hiatus. everyone's busy reading...cool! NAGKAKAISANG MGA POTTER FAN! i just wish nobody tells me who dies, because i've already caught a glimpse of the table of contents and a later chapter's entitled 'after the burial'. i wonder who dies? i hope it's not hagrid, or any other lovable character. i'm a big crybaby and i'm sure i'm going to, if someone nice dies. i mean, i even cried when i read about that nice diagon alley dude(may be dudes, but i strongly suspect the other one's only gone into hiding. i'm not going to name names, in case someone who hasn't read that part yet, which is unlikely. but if you already did, i'm sure you's know what i'm talking about)

h-bp. omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!
szdjjafggrdfsg
sdfgghsbvnhjhhj
qwrtwerfghdc

arrrggghhh!!! we have classes! on a saturday!!! holy shit!

but i'm going to the mall as soon as it's over (like, 3 or something). but still,

H-BP!!!!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!
!erw!!!!!@!

SQUEE!!!

I LOOOVVVE THIS!

jake asked me during recess if it'd be okay if i'll be the one to ask questions at the miting de avance. and of course i said "of course!"! P.E.P.S.I., HUMANDA KAYO!

so here's the lowdown (ho-down, more like) on the rc sbo parties:

R.O.Y.A.L.S. (forgot what that means) - mainly consists of beautiful people, literally. they've got reiko and daphne, models; cyrus, the friendlier and more responsible of the equally cute camarador twins; arvin, the guy with a killer smile (in a good way); kevin, dancer/crush-ng-bayan; kristine(ten-ten!), the more beautiful of the bayot twins; linsette, gorgeous bitch; and nico, resident hottie as campaign manager. not sure if i mentioned all, though. don't have a list with me. and they're not just beautiful, most of them are smart too.

P.E.P.S.I. (Predominant Eloquent People Sering Your Interests--have the list with me) - mainly consists of so-called 'smart' people, most are from honors class. self-proclaimed intelligent people/cute people (or so pipoy says)/class valedictorian(s?)/leaders of the universe. tagline: "don't just vote the cute. vote the cute AND intelligent." or so pipoy says. whatever! candidates: patty, the new kid in the honors class; rr, that itern from the honors class who i know nothing about; jen b., that priss from freshman year, in the running for class valedictorian; zoilo, my kapitbahay; paulo cabrera, another guy from the honors class i know nothing about; pipoy, patty's lil bro, self-proclaimed cute person; eleonor (ellein), another one in the running for class valedictorian; krislynne (len-len), the chubbier of the bayot twins; and all those other people. oh, and another thing: I HATE THEM!

oh, and there are a few independents too. or maybe just one. ah, whatever.

***

"I just found out there's no such thing as the real world, just a lie we've got to rise above."

inabot lang naman ako ng dalawang oras diyan. kaya i-popost ko narin. sayang eh.

1.What does your friendster nickname mean?
+ name ko un eh

2. Who/what's on your primary photo?
+ si emily borwning...wala lang...natripan kong i-edit

3. Who introduced my space to you?
+ ? friendster to, dude

4. What's your age?
+ i'm 14

5. Are you a busy person?
+ mejo

6. What are you wearing right now?
+ shirt saka shorts. bat mo gus2ng malaman?

7. What is life to you?
+ i'm 14. do you seriously think i know precisely what life is? but right now, my books are my life *and* my love

8. What is love to you?
+ books=love!

9. What/who do you hate most now?
+ ung lead ng mymp. blech. saka si epalmuks. ung taga business math. (chel, kla2 mo to!) mamatay ka na PLEASE!!!

10.Who do you love?
+ *ehem*

11. What makes you happy?
+ books!

12. Are you musically inclined?
+ cguro...i sing and i play the piano and the recorder (hehe. lahat naman ng rcians! ung recorder, i mean.) magyabang ba daw. lol

13. What happens if you wake up one morning to find a million dollars on your bed?
+ eh di bibili ako ng mall at ska ng flat sa nyc

14. Do you love cooking?
+ not really

15. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what will you be?
+ puede bang fictional? cause i would *love* to be a unicorn. or if non-fictional, butterfly.

16. Name ONE obvious quality you have.
+ spiteful? hehe...ndi naman! TULIRO!!! sakto!

17. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now.?
+ weak

18. Who do you think would reply to this survey the quickest?
+ aba malay ko

19. The slowest?
+ ako, fo sho

20. Are you happy today?
+ mejo!

21. Who was in your dreams?
+ don't dream much. i daydream a lot, though. dun na lang ako bumabawi

22. Who makes you happy?
+ *ehem*!

23. What time is it now?
+ 9:59 pm

24.Name the Last Four Things U Have Bought?
+ um, other than food? gel pen, bensia, at 2 books: sophie's world by jostein gaarder and mythology by edith hamilton

25.Name two things you usually drink?
+ chuckie saka coke (no ice!)

26.Last Time You Cried?
+ ewan ko lang...nung weekend ata

27.What's In Your MP3 Player?
+ buong cd ni ashlee simpson, aka2, maroon5, usher, alanis morisette (malay ko kung bat andyan yan), creed, john mayer, nina, matchbox 20, michelle branch, etc

28.What's Under Your Bed?
+ mga nalaglag na stuff

29.What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
+ 5am, nagbasa kasi ako para sa quiz eh

30.Current Hair?
+ long, madalas sabog, pero IDontCare!!!

31.Current Clothes?
+ eto din ung knina eh

where's 32? (oo nga, san n?)

33.Current Worry?
+ theater club auditions. crush ko.

34.Current Hate?
+ c epalmuks nga. forevah

35.Favorite Place To Be?
+ home. there's no place like rc. <---sagot ni mae. but yeah, rc=home!

36.If You Could Play An Instrument?
+ piano (bukod sa recorder, of course. constant na yang recorder samin eh. lahat kami marunong)

37.Favourite colour[S]
+ silver, lime, pink, purple, black!

38.How tall Are You?
+ 5'-sumthing

39.Current Favorite Word?
+ LIKE, I SO LIKE TOTALLY & LIKE! hehe j/k. um...ano nga ba? ah, whatever.

40.One Person From Your Past You Wish You
Could Go Back And Talk To?
+ dunno...

42.Favorite Day(s)?
+ like, ever? sa saturday, release ng HBP!!! OMFG!!!

43.Where Would You Like To Go?
+ sa europe. the louvre. pathenon. st. peter's basilica. london eye. windsor castle. hogwarts.

44.Where Do you want to live when you get married?
+ NYC

45.Favorite fruit?
+ blackberries and appl. yan lng ang knakain ko.

46.Color of most clothes you own?
+ white

47.What you sleep with?
+ anything that i'm currently reading. and my cellphone. and my inhaler. and the remote.

48.What do you wear when you go to sleep?
+ damit

49.What were you doing 12AM last night?
+ nood ng conan o'brien.. dakota fanning was on last night

50.what is the brand of your wallet?
+ happy house

I Don't Wanna Be Lyrics
Artist: Gavin Degraw
Album: Chariot



I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by a deadly crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one to notice?
I can't be the only one who's learned


I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think about me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone's attention please
See, not like this and that
You're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay, dust, stone
And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I'm trying to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be

***

found something new:

presenting...POTTERPUFFS!!! (i don't know how to make that lj-link-thingy, so 'm gong to write down the url instead. --->http://www.livejournal.com/users/potterpuffs<---





***

for the second (or maybe third) time in my life, cyril talked to me. wala lang...! oh yeah, and paul did too. almost. anyways, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAUL!!!

more tomorrow. gotta sleep!

whoa. homework overload.

okay, i actually have too much to do to even have time to blog, but since i'm too lazy, i'll do it anyway. it's stupid actually. i'm trying to escape homework by writing *about* homework. lol.

here's what i'm supposed to do:

1. social studies homework (def. of wants, needs. cite differences, similarities)
2. advanced algebra homework (...)
3. significance of the study, definition of terms for the investigatory project
4. sample article for the Forum, our school newspaper
5. monologue (world lit, Persephone)

and to top it all off, it's paul's bithday tomorrow! i just discovered that today! great timing, huh? lol. but at least it didn't take me by surprise, because if it did, i'm sure my mouth would've been open for a few minutes before anyone reminded me to close it.

randomness:
glenn=CUTE!!!

okay, i'm going to do my homework now.

::chants:: icandothisicandohistcandothis!!!

***

omg, ilang tulog na lang, hb-p na!!!

(no, not anxious-nervous silly! okay, a bit, but more anxious-excited!)

so sleepy...

but OMGOMGOMG! HB-P ON SATURDAY!!! I CAN HARDLY WAIT!!!

finished the quest! it was so good!!! ohmygosh!

i even called the numbers they gave in the sites and discovered that they really did work! they had actual pre-recorded messages from jonas faukman (fictional character) and dan brown (actual author)! their numbers are +0012127829920 and +0012127829932, respectively. i know what i did was kinda stupid, considering it was overseas, but whatever. i got to hear dan brown anyway!

COOOOOOL!!!

oh god. i sent a wrong query.

but never mind. i guess they won't reply anyway, since all i said was "??? say what???". that won't offend then *too* much.

it started out like this. i was answering the puzzle on danbrown.com. it was a bit longish, and it required me to visit different sites. one of them was http://www.randomhouse.com/doubleday/davinci/robertlangdon/. but i accidentally skipped some letters and wrote bertlangdon.com instead of robertlangdon.

been solving codes from dan brown for the past hour. so far i've answered the one for the da vinci code and i'm starting another one. man, the music's freaking me out. majorly.

here's the one i'm currently working on (these wre jumbled and here's what i've gotten so far):

You seek a famous _____............

oh god. i just came from the browser window (music:CREEPY!!!!) and realized that i just had to scroll over the jumbled words to reveal the hidden question! why do i always make stuff more complicated? seriously???

You seek a famous fresco in Milan.
(Use Google and the truth will quickly dawn.)

dan brown seems to love and/or is affiliated with google. seriously. he also had a google link in the da vinci code challenge. what, does he think that we don't know the bloody site??? (lol. just kidding. i still love the genius that is dan brown's cryptography.)

still not giving up on the code on the end of digital fortress! it's do or...um...not do!!!

In a Past Life...

You Were: A Lazy Philosopher. Where You Lived: Peru. How You Died: Suicide.

why's it always peru?

You Are 15 Years Old

15 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

whoa. so true.

^.

1.2.3.4.

just got home from kuya mario's house. agatha's leaving for australia, so we had this last gathering for her.

it's sad really, seeing everyone leave. david, liz and even jeffrey from first year (the guy i had a crush on). knew about it just now. tsktsk. it's so sad! :(

why's everyone leaving???!!! i swear, by the rate they're going, i'll be the only one left by the time graduation comes.

***

"Well I thought I could just get over you...But I see that's something I just can't do. From the way you would hold me to the sweet things you told me...I just can't find a way to let go of you."

learned some new stuff from an adobe photoshop tutorial site. here are some pics i've practiced on:

1.
made this when i was IMing enrico and had nothing else to do
2.
got inspriation from the 'nrico' one
3.
i love this one, even though i didn't do much to it. just turned down some stuff and presto! passionate red became cute pink.
4.
natripan lang!
5.
ditto.
6.
did this with the proper black and white technique, and i must say, it's a lot better than grayscale.
7.
learned this new technique wherein i can make the background b&w and the subject colored. only i did the opposite with this one, and highlighted the background, her lips and her eyes.

the girl in the pictures is emily browning (violet of lemony snicket's a series of unfortunate events, but i'm sure you already knew that). i love her photos! they're the types that make me ogle for a few minutes before realizing i've been ogling. for a few minutes. lol.

***

"sinong di mapapasaya sa ulan?"

Your Kissing Purity Score: 91% Pure

You've hardly ever been kissed But the kisses you've given are very missed

(no comment.)






































okay, i do have a comment. or a message, more like. to paul.

HURRY UP AND KISS ME, DAMMIT!!! lol.

***

so...

kate picked a fight with one of us again ('us' being ira, chelz and me). such a selfish little brat. tsktsk. personally, i wouldn't mind her, but since one of my bestest friends are affected, i am so gonna get involved. i hate her sometimes. she's just impossible.

***

"But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do, and I would gladly hit the road get up and go if I knew that someday it would lead me back to you...That someday it will lead me back to you."

had a library and guidance period today. we finally got the results of our iq and personality tests. i love this part, because for some reason i always do good in those. the iq part, i mean.

so, in the personaliy part, this is what i got (these are my possible strongest traits):

- withdrawn, guarded, circumspect individualism, internally restrained

- self-sufficient, resourceful, prefers own decision

as you can see, i don't do so good in the 'personality' part. but i quite like the self-sufficient part. but much as i hate being withdrawn, i can totally admit it's true. (i forgot to list down the other traits, but here are the ones i remember (random!): abstract-minded, intelligent, bright, self-disciplined, formal, easily annoyed. so true. lol.)

but i *love* how i did in the 'verbal' part of the iq test. here are my scores (they returned the 'iq paper', unlike the personality ones; also, i won't be including the raw and scaled scores, it'll be too much a bother):

verbal

information - above average
comprehension - superior
arithmetic - superior
similarities - superior
vocabulary - above average

i was terrible in the 'performance' part, though. got the worst rating possible--average. the state i love to hate. got two 'above average's (spatial and object assembly) three 'average's (digit symbol, picture completion and picture arrangement). abysmal. blech.

but overall i am pretty happy about it.

summary: (scaled score/iq/percentile)

verbal - 300/127/96 superior
performence (blech) - 274/106/66 average
full scale - 574/119/90 above average

okay, not overall. just happy about the verbal part. i need to improve on the performance part, though.

but what i'm really happy abouyt is what paul said when he saw my scores. (i didn't lend the paper to him, i lent it to paolo, his seatmate. eh itong si crush, usi, napakalaking usisero so when he saw pao was holding a new piece of paper tingin agad xa. then he said, "oi, grabe ang taas! henyo!" (obviously he didn't look at the performance part properly). which is just so flattering, especially coming from him, mr. i-won-third-place-in-the-math-english-science-quiz-bee-last-year-and-beat-most-of-the-honors-class.

omg, he thinks i'm smart! astig!

lol. okay, turning into giddy-teenager-kim again! but whatever! he still thinks i'm smart!!!

***

"Well, be pleased, world, if this is what you wanted. This young girl is everything that you made."

she grew up with
the children of the stars
in the hollywood hills and the boulevard
her parents threw big parties
everyone was there
they hung out with folks like
dennis hopper, bob seger, and sonny and cher
she feels safe now
in this bar on fairfax
and from the stage I can tell that
she can't let go and she can't relax
and just before
she hangs her head to cry
I sing to her a lullaby, I sing
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
rockabye
she still lives with her mom
outside the city
down that street about a half a mile
and all her friends tell her
she's so pretty
but she'd be a whole lot prettier

if she smiled once in a while
`cause even her smile
looks like a frown
she's seen her share of devils
in this angel town
But, everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
rockabye
I told her I ain't so sure
about this place
it's hard to play a gig in this town
and keep a straight face
seems like everyone here's got a plan
it's kind of like nashville with a tan, but,
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye
everything's gonna be all right
rockabye, rockabye,rockabye, bye, bye
bye, bye

(note to self: use in icons!)

ang hirap gumawa ng icons. hai...pero i refuse to give up!

we have a title! yay!!!

***

Theater? Me? You're joking, right?

***

i love starting into his eyes. they're like bottomless pits--beautiful, enticing, entrancing...but scary. once you get in, you'll never get out...cause you keep falling further down.

***


"It may take some time to patch me up inside...but I can't take it so I run away and hide. But I may find in time that you were always right...you're always right."

-got through the fil test (el fili)...miraculously

-got the highest score in advanced algebra (again!!! lol) i love myself sometimes!

-failed the economics exam...miserably

-got the same score as paul...9. out of 40. lmfao.

-got leann to lend me digital fortress by dan brown

-started making graphs in physics...and loved it. even though my back hurt from all of it.

-found david on friendster. omg, he's H-O-T.

-got a pic from shella. of who? of david of course! he was, like, three then. i tell you, he looked like the perfect little brother. or boyfriend.

-learned that people read my friendster blog but don't comment. which i hate. i mean, i love it when people read my blog. but i'd love it even more if they leave comments. because then i'd know who to write and not to write about. and which stuff to censor. and when to bash people and when not to. you know, those kind of stuff.

***

"it roped me in, so mesmerizing...so hypnotizing. i am captivated...i am vindicated."

OMG. HE TALKED TO ME.

me, out of all people. but unlike those other times, he actually looked at my eyes. yes, my eyes! i love it when a guy does that!

he was with kate then. (they're friends. kate and him, i mean. unlike him and me. blech. but we'll get there. eventually.) so when i saw them talking i made epal and started bombarding kate with questions so as to get him to actually notice that i exist. (that's a start!) but guess what? he bit into it! he actually asked me something! (actually, it was more of a general question to me and ira, but for some reason he was staring at me so i answered, just to be friendly. and cute. i hope.)

"mag-ththeater kayo?"

yeah. super-long. i know!

but it was how he asked me that i loved. he was like a dog--a puppy, actually--so eager and so passionate about what he was talking about. kinda like me when talking about tv. (lol.) and the two of us with books. (which is our common interest. which is why i like him so much!)

"every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." - closing time...ala lang

...be volunteering for Greenpeace, helping save the dolphins and helping prevent climate change by informing people of the dangers of using fossil fuels which, in turn, causes global warming; i'll also help promote the ue of water-powered cars, or any other environment-friendly-fuel-using cars; also, i'll try to help stop the cutting down of forests and preserve the life it supports; promote the reasonabl use of genetic research; basically, i want to save the world

...be someone's fiancee (preferrably Paul's, David's, Adam Levine's, Dan Radcliffe's, Hugh Grant's, Andre de Vanny's, Chad Michael Murray's, or even Michael Mocovitz's or Scott Bennett's or Boris Pelkowski's (if they were real))

...be as cunning as Sherlock Holmes (hopefully)

...be a published writer and/or author, having my own book and/or column

...be able to manage my anger

...be free of my fears (ankylo- (immobility of a joint), apeiro- (infinity), alto- (heights), necro- (death and/or dead people) and arachno- (spiders))

...be well-traveled

...be able to speak french and/or latin and/or italian and/or spanish

...be living in my own flat in nyc (when i'm not saving the whales and/or travelling to countries in dire need of help)

...be a proud owner of a home library comprising of hundreds of books

(more to come! am too sleepy to function properly)

not motivated enough to actually do anything, so instead i'm wrting about boys! (so lame, but hey, i've got lots to do with not even a bit of will to do it...so i figured this could inspire me even a bit)

***

i like boys. in fact, i like boys a lot. but not all boys. for instance, you could be a guy friend of mine, but i wouldn't necessarily *like* you. you know, like, like-like. just like. here are some possible reasons:

1. i think you're gay

2. i think you're stupid/incompetent

3. i think you're too dull

4. i think you're too full of yourself

5. i think you're ill-mannered

6. i think of you as a brother, and it would be far too disguting to even think of *it*6

but some guys...they're special. special in a way that yeah, we're friends (or sometimes not even) but there's something in them that just...attracts me. pulls me toward them.

mostly if he's:

1. sallow-skinned/pale

2. tall

3. lanky

yeah. the somewhat-cute nerd type. and of course he has to be:

1. smart

2. good in english

3. a wide reader

okay, i want a total nerd. but he should be a *very cute* total nerd! much like michael in the princess diaries. or boris. (the hottie-fied version!)

OMFG. I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING.

(sorry for the inconveniece. we will resume regular blogging shortly.)

NEWS FLASH!!!

just remembered:

drew lots for english monologue yesterday. who did i get, exactly? rhea. who, out of all the gods and godesses i've read about in the past, i didn't remember. yeah, i knew gaea (mother earth), hestia (goddess of the hearth), hermes (messenger god), cronus (that time dude from chamred), aphrodite (do i even have to tell you?), cupid (duh), psyche (cupid's boo), apollo (that guy who does prophesies), artemis (apollo's twin, i think), hercules, and zeus and all the others. but rhea i din't know. turns out she was mother of the gods. which i didn't know before i switched. but oh well.

you know who i (eventually) got?

PERSEPHONE.

i am soooo the goddess of the underworld.

lol. omg, this is my DREAM ROLE!

like, really. i've been fixated on that character ever since i first read it. no, not lesblian-like. i mean, eew! just very drawn to it, in a way. i always thought her character was so cool. and after pulling a few strings, i so got the role!

at first, glenn got persephone. but then he exchanged with shella. and then i 'motivated' her into switching roles with me. okay, 'tricked' to be exact. but she switched willingly. without me going to have to do extreme stuff. (i know, bad kim, bad kim!). i actually think that's bloody brilliant of me, getting her to agree.

but anyways, i was ecstatic after i got persephone. i was (figuratively) jumping for joy! i mean, how utterly cool would it be to be goddess of the underworld? like, SERIOUSLY???

just read in wikipedia that persephone (ME, ME, ME) is the "cold, unforgiving goddess of the underworld". cool! i've always wanted to be like that, even just for a role. (weird, i know. i'm not good with goody-goody types...mainly because i'm not so good myself!) and people couldn't mention her name and only referred to her as "The Maiden". wicked! she's like Voldemort, just the female version. bloody brilliant!

i am so loving this. if only hades were played by paul! (hades is gonna be played by renz. omg, i hope he hates me and exchanges with someone! god, please!!!)

BUT WHATEVER HAPPENS, THIS IS STILL GOING TO BE UTTERLY INCONCEIVABLY WICKED. LIKE, TOTALLY.

went on a quiz spree. omg, i am so bored.

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core. You often find yourself on the outside looking in. Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works. You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

You scored as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Congratulations! You are obsessive-compulsive! You know nothing curbs images of mutilating your mother like a good counting/checking/washing ritual... wait, DID you forget to turn off the stove??? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder 58% Borderline Personality Disorder 33% Unipolar Depression 17% Antisocial Personality Disorder 17% Schizophrenia 17% Eating Disorders 0% Which mental disorder do you have? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Mexican. Yo whats up homes? You were meant to be A Mexican Mexican 40% Asian 30% Black 20% White 10% What Race Were You meant to Be? created with QuizFarm.com

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

You scored as Soccer/Football Jocks. The jocks...yum! Soccer/Football Jocks 70% Skater Boys 60% Preppy Fellows 50% Gothic Boys 50% Your Ideal Boyfriend created with QuizFarm.com

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 60%

Greed: 60%

Sloth: 60%

Wrath: 60%

Pride: 40%

Gluttony: 20%

Lust: 20%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 46%

You will die a boring death. While dying, you will be jealous of those who die dramatic deaths.

You are

You scored as Blonde Brunette. Ah...Just like me...You are a brunette but blonde at the heart!GO US! Blonde Brunette 75% 100% Blonde 63% Artifical Intelagence 50% Half Blonde 25% How blonde are you? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Sirius Black. You are a gifted wizard and very loyal to your allegiance. Whilst you have a big heart and care very much about those around you, you can be a little arrogant and reckless at times. Sirius Black 90% Severus Snape 85% Draco Malfoy 85% Harry Potter 80% Remus Lupin 80% Ginny Weasley 75% Hermione Granger 70% Albus Dumbledore 65% Ron Weasley 65% Lord Voldemort 15% Your Harry Potter Alter Ego Is...? created with QuizFarm.com

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

Your True Birth Month Is January

Loyal Social Logical Easily jealous Loves children Rather reserved Highly attentive Likes to criticize Needs close friends Ambitious and serious Smart, neat and organized Hardworking and productive Loves to teach and be taught Quiet unless excited or tensed Sensitive and has deep thoughts Knows how to make others happy Searches for the greatest romance Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds Romantic but has difficulties expressing love Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses

Your EQ is

127 50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick! 51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese. 71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely. 91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that. 111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt. 131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin. 150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read. Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few.

Kim Nothing Espina's Aliases

Your movie star name: Cheese Curls Antolin

Your fashion designer name is Kim Rome

Your socialite name is Kimmy New York

Your fly girl / guy name is K Esp

Your detective name is Cat Rogationist College

Your barfly name is Cookies Water

Your soap opera name is Nothing E. Gonzales

Your rock star name is Fruitella Jet

Your star wars name is Kimbar Esppau

Your punk rock band name is The Bored Computer

The Amazing Meganame Generator

the pc's broken so i have to use my mom's laptop which is okay, i guess.

ihatethisihatethisihatethis!!!

no, not the laptop, silly! these!!! (points at random stuff) reports! theses! teachers! school! those bloody prefects! BOYS!!! (you know i've got it bad when i start hating boys. seriously.)

i cried lunchtime yesterday out of desperation. why? beacause:

1. we didn't have a title for our investigatory research yet, much less an approved one

2. our computer's broken so it's so hard to have to squeeze in library time during recess and lunch, mainly because you almost never realize that you're the only high school student left there (at least, i don't)

3. my groupmates aren't helping me one bit (and i even *liked* them at first! but now...i just wanna whack them in the head)

4. i still don't know what my report's supposed to be about

5. i have TWO reports

6. i still don't know what a capacitor is

7. i'm not even sure if that's the thing i'm supposed to report about

8. paul STILL doesn't know i exist

9. or if he does, he's doing a pretty good job of pretending i don't!

10. worst of all, i think i'm gonna crack under all the pressure

i am so hating this. and oh yeah, there's still no.11:

11. the bell's in an hour and i haven't even taken a bath yet. and the school's about a million miles away.

oh yeah. i've got it made. not.

Your Birthdate: September 22

While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings. You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion. Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings. Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma. An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail. You are very aware and intuitive. You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension.

so, so true.